Dr. Jennifer Harris: "SUPER-P" - The Science-backed Solution for Sports Parents

Manisha: Hello Archery Family. I'm Manisha and welcome to the Archery Parent Podcast. What you need to know to best support your Archer. Archery life can come at you quickly, and there are often a lot of questions, but not a lot of answers. We are here to change that. We will share tips, how to’s and what to expect to help you navigate your new Archery lifestyle. You'll hear from other Archery parents, coaches, and Archers themselves. We are going to do this one arrow at a time.

Hello Archery Family. Today we are here with Dr. Jennifer Harris of Raising Happy Champs. Jennifer, welcome to the show.

Jennifer: Thank you very much for having me. It's lovely to be here. I think we've been chatting for, is it about a year now that we first started talking? I think it's so lovely to, you know, to finally get to talk and to be on your podcast, so thank you very much for inviting me on. I really appreciate it.

Manisha: Yeah, I guess maybe it could actually be longer. What I love is that, and what our listeners and viewers are going to realize, is how similar our messages are, and I'm so excited to have you on. Please introduce yourself and explain what Raising Happy Champs is.

Jennifer: Yes, absolutely. Thank you. My journey began as a sport parent, not from the Archery world. My daughter is a gymnast. But I, I began this journey back in 2017. I was sitting in the stands with another mom, and at this point my daughter was competing at an international level.

She was about nine years old. She'd been doing gymnastics since she was two. And, a mother and I were sitting in the stands and we were discussing how we supported our children. Just, just a general discussion about nutrition, about psychology, just all sorts of things. And she said to me, I wish you could help me, Jen, because I haven't got a clue what I'm doing.

And I looked around the stands and I thought to myself. She's so right. None of us have a clue what we're doing. And I thought a little bit about my experience as a parent.

I'd been a parent for nearly 10 years by that point, and I'd had so much education and support in all sorts of areas of parenting. You know, when you're pregnant you get lots of information about childbirth and weaning and breastfeeding and all sorts of support in those early days when you're very vulnerable and you need a lot of help.

And you'll buy books on potty training and when they start school, how to help them with their phonics and all sorts of parent education that is out there. We take it for granted. We don't even think about it because it's just there. And I realized that sport parent education just didn't exist.

And at this stage, as I mentioned, my daughter was training, on an international level. She trained about 18 hours a week. She traveled overseas by herself with her squad. And I hadn't even been given a pamphlet on what I was supposed to be doing. And that just really struck me. About a month later, I quit my job and I went back to university and I did a Master's degree in Sport Psychology.

Because I really felt that I wanted to change that. I wanted to bring sport parent education into the mix, into the discussion. And I was very keen and I felt it was a real priority that I wasn't going to just make this up. I didn't want to just stand in front of all these parents and tell them, because I'd raised one child in one sport, that I would be able to tell them what they should or shouldn't be doing with their child.

And it was very, very clear to me that I needed to go down a scientific route. And this was back in 2017, so it is a long journey that I have been on. I did the Master's degree, and that really solidified my learning and made me realize that Sport Parent Education, although it does exist within the field of Sports Psychology, and there is a growing body of research into it.

There is no scientifically-backed, scientifically-tested Sport Parent Education program that is widely available today. I want to change that. I continued my studies and I've done a PhD, which is why I'm now Dr. Jen. And I created what I've termed the "SUPER-P" Approach, which is an acronym.

And essentially this acronym encompasses the role of the sport parents. So it helps, can guide sport parents and it's tested on children from any age, any level, and any sport.

When I tested the program, I proved that by using it, by a sport parent using it, it reduces anxiety in the children. It improves their competition results, and it improves communication between parent and child. I mean, honestly, when I found these results out, I was, I was crying. It brought tears to my eyes because the idea that something that I'd created could make children feel so much better.

And what was really lovely as well was the feedback from the parents because 95% of my parents loved the program. they found it reassuring. Some of them said it made them feel more relaxed because they knew what they were doing. A bit more confident in what they were doing. And they didn't have that feeling of helplessness that I think we all get as sport parents. And again, it's something that's just not really spoken about.

Manisha: So you mentioned your daughter had been competing at a very high level at an international level, yet nothing was ever given to you from the federation, from the club. What onus does a federation, a sports federation, have to educate parents?

Jennifer: Well, it's interesting that you say that because, I believe very firmly that Sport Parent Education is something that is almost exclusively overlooked.

I don't even know why. Like, why is it not talked about? Because I find it quite interesting how sport parents are, they're really vilified. There's a real caricature of the sport parent.

They're always the baddies. Everyone sort of always speaks quite negatively about sport parenting. Whenever I would share with someone that my daughter was a sort of high level athlete, I would often get quite, quite negative comments from people sort of saying things like, "Oh, did you always want to be a gymnast?"

"No, I didn't. This isn't my dream." You know, there's always that assumption that the only possible reason that my child could be doing that sport is because it was my unfulfilled dream. It's that sort of rhetoric that goes on with sport parents, and sporting bodies absolutely should start to consider Sport Parent Education.

And when you think about the Coach-Athlete-Parent Triangle, which is this, the support system for a child in sport. And it's very, very clear that coaches, athletes and, and parents, all play a very, very valuable and important role. But each person has a different role within the triangle. And of course coaches, I like to think generally, particularly at high level, get a lot of, of support and education, but the parents don't. And I think it's really interesting that everybody assumes that parents should know what they're doing.

For me particularly, I wasn't sporty. My first introduction to high level training was through my 4-year-old child joining a squad. I've never done anything other than go to an aerobics class at a gym. So, you know, I really don't know anything about sport.

And I actually wrote about this. How can you tell someone to stay in their own lane if you don't define what their lane is?

And some of the feedback that I got, some of the parents would say, well, some of the things that you said was quite obvious. And I defend that because you don't know what someone else's experience is. Someone could be highly involved with sport. Someone could not be involved with sport at all.

We can't make any assumptions as to a parent's knowledge around what their role should be with supporting a child in sport. And so when I created the "SUPER-P" Approach, I stripped it right back. I started from nothing and I said, okay, what is the sport parent role? And I got all the definitions from the sport psychology, and I built it up and I made absolutely no assumptions about what someone will and will not know.

And as I say, 95% of the parents, said wonderful things about the Approach. One of them said to me, she said, well, actually I've got a degree in sports science, so I do know quite a lot of these things. But what she said is that when emotions are involved and when you are dealing with your child, it's actually really, really lovely to have that acronym going round and round in your head so that you can remember what you should or shouldn't be doing.

Anyway, I know I've digressed from your question, whether or not sporting bodies should be responsible, and I think that they should be. I think that the problem has been largely that there haven't been education programs available.

And this is a little bit my opinion, but sporting bodies as their best way of dealing with difficult parents or what they would term difficult parents, they just cut them out. We have things like, silent football matches in the UK where the parents have to be completely silent because they can't control the sideline behaviour.

Obviously you have a lot of training camps where parents aren't allowed. I've heard about a football club in the UK who, they have a coach to pick the children up for training because they don't even want the parents even dropping their children off at training. There's all of this sort of approach to cut the parents out.

But parents are so important and children want their parents there. Even when I've researched really negative parental behaviour, even in those instances when children are interviewed, they still would rather have their parents there.

Manisha: Can you just explain what is the triangle and where has it been falling apart?

Jennifer: Okay. I think it was 1987, this chap John, John Halstead, and he was good friends with, it was a Canadian skiing team. And the coach was having trouble with his parents. He said, can you put together some advice on how I can work with them in a more effective way? And John Halstead published this article, which depicts this relationship which he depicted as a triangle.

A really balanced relationship between each one of the points of this triangle. And so when he's talking about balance, it's very much the Goldilocks Approach. Not too much, not too little, just right. And you want that relationship between the parents and the child, the child and the coach. And most importantly, I think, and this is the bit that's missing, is the coach and the parents.

And this article was all, it was all about what the coaches should do, how they should communicate with their parents, what they should be expecting from their parents.

And at no point in this article does he mention that, that this information should be shared with the parents. That the parents should be educated, that the parents should be given any kind of information. It was all on the coach to try and manage this relationship. And I found that really, really interesting.

And so you've got this sort of approach that it's all down to the coach to kind of manage the parents, manage the children, and then it will all be okay.

But of course, you've got parents who are not educated, who are not supported. They don't understand what their role is. And so sometimes you're going to have mistakes with, perhaps parents treading on the coach's toes. Because as I mentioned before, if their lane isn't defined, they're just not sort of getting the exact approach right.

Manisha: Yes. And what I've said is, when coaches are allowed to coach opposed to managing parents, they have more time for their athletes and that's why they're there. It only just helps everybody else.

I think a lot of parents mistake, their over-involvement for support. They probably feel like if I'm not, and this is from Archery, if I'm not there all the time, if I'm not looking through my binoculars, if I'm not getting my Archer to look back at me and tell me things and interacting with my Archer for every arrow, my Archer is going to think that I'm not involved, that I'm not interested.

And really we want to move away from that because as Archers, or any athlete, as they grow up and they continue in their sport, they need to be self-sufficient. And that whole dynamic will change. And I think a lot of parents don't want that to change. They don't realize that as an athlete does grow up and become more seasoned in their sport, that the importance of independence is actually a huge development marker. And, and when that isn't happening because a parent is too attached, that connection between the athlete and parent can get very blurry.

There are other people that are there to coach and you're just there to support and be their biggest fan.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Manisha: So can we talk a little bit about alleviating anxiety? Where is the anxiety and performance connection there that the "SUPER-P" Approach can assist with?

Jennifer: One of the most fundamental articles that I based my research on was this really fascinating article by Kay, Frith, & Bozslo.

And what they did was they measured parental sporting expectation and then they also measured the children's anxiety and they found a significant link. The higher the parental expectation, the higher the child's anxiety was. It was fundamental for me because, and, I'll give away a little bit of, of my "SUPER-P" workshop, I actually put up the questionnaire that is used in the article to show parents what the sporting expectation questionnaire is.

And I say to them, not asking you to change your expectation of your child's sporting outcomes. I will never apologize for my expectations of my daughter. When she was at the peak of her sort of gymnastics, she was doing very well and obviously we had high expectations. That's not what you are looking to change.

What you need to change is your behaviour because it's not the expectation that is causing your child's anxiety. It's how you are acting. And often, we are talking about tiny shifts in your behaviour, in your communication, that can have a profound effect on your child.

So they've shown that high expectation leads to high anxiety. If I'm changing people's behaviour, then accordingly I should be reducing the child's anxiety, which was fantastic.

I mean, of course, from a scientific perspective, we could tear that apart in all sorts of ways. And if there are any academics listening, I do understand that there are different elements that could play into the, the parents' behaviour and the children's anxiety from a scientific perspective. But, from my perspective as a sport parent, I know that if I can follow "SUPER-P" because I'm making those changes in my behaviour, I'm pulling myself in a little bit, and giving my child a, a different view of what their, what their parent is, and that will help the child feel better supported and therefore reduce their anxiety and hopefully improve their results.

Manisha: So with these little shifts, can you give me an example of what would be seen as a negative behaviour and through the shift, how could that behaviour be modified into a more positive behaviour?

Jennifer: So, for example, if you are talking about the car ride home. This example is very close to my heart because I've been very much guilty of it. And that is doing the breakdown of performance following a competition essentially.

It's really, really easy for us as parents to overstep that line, to fall into the coach's role because we want to talk about this because we're passionate about it. We've just watched it. It's something that's all in our head.

And so we all start talking about the competition, about what's happened. In the majority of cases, this is probably not what the children want. And sometimes we can say things that can be really, really damaging to the child because we can make them feel like by pulling apart the performance, we make them feel like they've let us down.

Children are hardwired to want to make their parents proud. They want to do well for their parents, and it's really, really tough for them when they hear us kind of pulling apart their performance.

The expression of pride is actually something that is hardly mentioned in the Sports Psychology research for sport parenting. I've got one of my articles published about what children that are highly passionate about their sport want from their parents.

Number one on all of these children's list was the expression of pride. They wanted to know that their parents were proud of them. Before you start to pull apart anything, you can talk about how proud you were, the fact that they stuck with it, even though it was all going wrong. You can talk about how you were proud that they even stepped out there that day, just proud of their commitment, proud of how gracious they were when they won.

You don't even have to talk about results. There's so much to be proud of. Part of my research was to ask children what anything they'd noticed after their parents had taken the workshop. One little girl wrote and she said, "I know my mom has always been proud of me, but now she says so many things that really make me feel that."

We can assume that our children know that we're proud of them, but when our behaviour isn't showing that, when they jump in the car and our behaviour is like, well, you didn't get that shot right. Or, you messed that one up and you didn't get the, the wind right.

And you start to pull that apart, the children aren't even listening to what you're saying. They're just: I've let them down. I haven't done a good enough job. They're cross with me. They're disappointed. They're sad. The child will carry that to the next competition, and they will think about that conversation.

If your child starts to say to you: "Oh, shut up, Dad. Shut up, Mom. I know that. I know that," if you're talking about how proud you are, you've done it. Well done. That's, that's what I'm aiming for in terms of the expression of pride. Just a, a little change like that can be very, very effective and something that we just don't think it's that important, but it really is.

Manisha: What are the biggest challenges that you are finding in this process of trying to help parents be better sports parents? I can imagine that there might be some critical reaction or people feeling offended. Have you experienced that?

Jennifer: Yes. So when I started, one of the very first questions that I asked my sport parents who took part, I asked them whether they had ever considered that they needed education, and 87% of them said that they'd never even thought about it. I get the impression that they're just like: Yeah, that's not me. I don't need that. That's for all the other sport parents. I'm just fine. It's not a problem. I don't need it. And equally, I don't have time to do it. It's not a priority. It's not on my priority list. I would rather spend the money on my child.

And what I find really interesting, just as an aside, if a child is struggling with their sport, parents will do anything that they see within their power to try and help their child improve. So they will buy more expensive equipment. They will pay for one-to-one coaching. I've heard of families moving house so that their children can attend like a different training camp. They won't turn their microscope on themselves.

And one of the moms who I interviewed, she was an ex-gymnast and a coach. And I thought to myself, I'm not going to be able to help this lady because she's going to know everything. And indeed she was incredibly knowledgeable, but she, she took the course and she made some changes to her competition approach.

A few weeks later, her daughter actually qualified for the British team at that competition, and she said to me, it was all down to "SUPER-P" because she said, you made me look outside the box. I identified a couple of tiny things that I was doing that was causing stress at really, really important times. And, and she made those changes.

I think a lot of the time parents, they don't focus on themselves. They think they haven't got the time. They don't want to spend the money because they think that they would rather spend the money on something for their child. No one's talking about it because it's not coming from above, it's not coming from the coaches. It's only coming from, from Jen. That's an enormous challenge.

We look around the stands of other parents and everyone seems to hold it together because obviously we're all faking it, aren't we? And we're all just like making it look like we're completely together and no one shares how stressed they are, how stressful it is preparing for competition, managing their training, all of those things.It's a full-time job, isn't it?

Manisha: And there is a lot of growth that has to happen. So I will be the first to admit, I was one of these parents that asked "what happened?" when things were not going well. I did not understand. I didn't understand where I fit in. I was in the car. I was driving. I was paying. You know, all of these things that a sport parent has to do. And it's almost like, well, I'm putting all of this effort in. We should be getting something in return, so to speak, but there is an evolution that parents have to go through to be the biggest fan.

What is your take on parents who are actual coaches and do end up coaching their own athlete? That triangle has really fallen apart. What's your take on parents as coaches?

Jennifer: Yeah. It's really interesting and I was very, very careful because there are cases within, some sports where it's necessary for parents to coach. I give no opinion as to whether or not it's right or wrong from that perspective because I know that sometimes it's necessary.

And in terms of the research terms, there's nothing that says that a sport parent should not be a coach. But I think that any parent that is a coach even more needs to take my "SUPER-P" workshop because they need to very, very clearly understand what roles they need to take on and they need to almost have almost better communication with their child to be able to say to them, "Okay darling, I'm taking off my coach hat and I'm putting mom hat on now", or "I'm putting dad's hat on", and be able to walk between those two roles very, very clearly. In order to be able to, to manage it effectively for the child.

And there's no reason why parents shouldn't coach, but they do need to still give their child both areas of support and it's very, very challenging. And if they think it isn't challenging, then that's probably a problem. If you're a parent coach, I think you need to be very, very aware of the challenges of that role and probably have a really lovely open discussion.

And I think one of the things that has come for my daughter and I because of this journey that I've been on, I have talked to her about absolutely everything. We talk about things to the "nth" degree. Not so much now because she's so fed up with talking about sports psychology now, but when she was younger we would talk about it a lot and she will speak up now she will say, "I don't like it that you said that to me".

She'll have a bit of a joke and she'll say, "Well that wasn't very "SUPER-P" now, was it Mom?" And things like that. And she understands that I'm a human being and that I struggle with this as much as she does when she's feeling anxious. Mom's feeling anxious, too. So we have a really great communication and that's one of the things that very much came out of my research: if you are applying "SUPER-P", then probably your communication with your child is going to improve.

And I think that if you are having that added challenge of being their coach as well, then you've got to really up your game and you've got to have really great, honest conversations with your child. Give them grace to be able to speak up and say, you know what, "if I'm doing something wrong, if I'm saying something wrong at this point, if you need me to take off my coaching hat and, and put on my dad hat or my mom hat, then let's have that conversation".

How do you want to tell me that? Maybe just tap your head and if you do that, then I know that I've overstepped on the coaching mark and you need to hear from, from the parents at that point. I think that it's very, very important.

When we are looking at sport parents, and you look at sport parenting as a whole, the research essentially says that about 70% of sport parents are great.

And, and then you've got this 30%. This is from a researcher, whose surname is Gould, G-O-U-L-D, and he says it's something like 70% of parents are golden and the rest range from difficult to raging maniacs.

When I first started out on this, I actually thought I would be working with what I would term the 30%. As I continued on my journey over the last seven years, I realized very quickly that it's actually the 70%, it's those parents who are really doing their best, who actually will benefit the most from taking a, a workshop like "SUPER-P". Because they're doing their best. They're open to change. They're helping. They want to sort of self-analyze their behaviour. They want to do their best by their child. Why? What we were talking about earlier is that a lot of sport parents go, well, I'm fine. I'm doing my best. I don't need sport parent It's the Crazy Tiger Moms from Dance Moms. They need it. If we're talking about parents who are hyper involved, very aggressive behaviour that is, in my view, kind of off the scale, negative parenting.

There was a dad who, he ran onto the ice onto the rink and he was so mad that he ran up to the referee who was actually just a teenage volunteer and he physically assaulted the referee and pushed him over onto the ice.

And I watched that and I thought to myself the sort of person who is going to behave like that, you know, they're going way beyond, sort of difficulty with sport parenting. If you're the sort of person that will run up to a teenager and push them over, aggressively assault them, that's not something that I am able to help with with my little two hour workshop. And I think that some of the things that we see in youth sport are, they're the ones that hit the, the news lines and hit the social media, but they're not a true depiction of sport parenting.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I was in a Facebook group for all sorts of sports and there was a tennis group and a mom wrote into the group and she was asking the question and she was saying, how involved should I be with my son's tennis? How much should I be pushing him?

And, and she had like a lot of replies. And a number of those replies kind of cited Mike Agassi as a, as somebody who should be looked up to as somebody who successfully raised a successful person in sport. And I found that really, really worrying and really upsetting. A journalist actually wrote, and he said, Mike Agassi should have been in jail, and instead he's sitting in the stands of Wimbledon.

Now those are not sport parents. Just because they raise one, they are the exception to the rule. Thierry Henry spoke really candidly about his experience with his father. and it was, it was deeply saddening to listen to.

In the general rule, the majority of sport parents, certainly in my experience are, are not like that.

Manisha: I have heard over the 11-ish years that I've been an Archery Mom, I have heard parents say, if you don't get this score, I'm going to sell your equipment. I've heard parents reprimand their Archers for their performance and it is so unfortunate because I have seen Archers actually perform in fear. They're maybe falling apart emotionally, but then when they do outperform, it's almost like the parents get validated.

So they have their own, I guess, feedback loop where if I say these things to my child, even if I'm joking, it works. You know, there's a tendency then for them to just quit. And that's going to make those parents even angrier because if they've been living through their athlete, they've had an identity through their athlete, and their athlete is threatening to leave, where does it leave an athlete when a parent is acting that way?

Jennifer: I always try and defend sport parents, because I believe they need defending because they've been so criticized in general. And I like to say that I think that, a parent who is threatening and bribing a child, would probably also fall into the category of helpless. They really want this to happen and they don't know what to say.

And they haven't been given any support. They haven't been given any guidance. They're probably way outside their comfort zone. They probably haven't taken part in a sport themselves. So they don't know what it's like to step out onto a field with all people watching you and all eyes on you and having to perform.

They don't know what that's like, and no one has ever told them the things that they could say differently. And they're not going to turn up and they're certainly not going to listen. But even the ones that are saying things like bribery and threats is absolutely something that is recorded as negative sport parent behaviour and something that just really shouldn't, shouldn't be done.

But if you're not going to give someone something else to say on the sidelines, something else to to talk about because all, all they're wanting to do is get a positive outcome. What their motivations are, whether they're vicariously living through their child, I try not to make that assumption because that's very, very much the assumption that's often made about sport parents, isn't it?

That there's this vicarious need for success through your child and you definitely do. I mean, I've been guilty of it, you know, I've sat in the stands and wanted my daughter to do well so that I can post it on social media and get lots of likes because she's won gold.

Being a sport parent is, does become part of your identity and it's hard when, when things change. Perhaps if they have had a huge amount of success and then they're not having so much success. It's very, very hard for us to navigate. And as I say, we are not given any support and, and so things are going to be said that are wrong.

Manisha: So, how can sports federations change?

Jennifer: My daughter started in her gymnastics squad when she was four, and she started to compete at a national level when she was seven. And I wish that before I attended that competition when she was seven, that I had had some sort of education and not just like an email about expectations around competition day.

Everything that is often pushed out to sport parents it's a bit judgmental. It's a little bit, patronizing. I wish that I'd had a "SUPER-P" workshop that I could have attended, and it would've made me feel so much better on that first competition day. I think my daughter was okay on that day, but I was in pieces. It was really hard for me and that continued to go on for years and years and years.

"SUPER-P" is completely non-judgmental that I try very hard during the workshop not to focus too much on the negatives. There's a little bit of talk about negatives, but generally I'm saying to people, you know, this is what you should be doing because I think that's just so much more helpful.

The NSPCC, which is a Child Protection Unit in the UK. They actually, a few years ago, published a, a video for sport parents, which was called “My Magic Sports Kit”. You can, you can look it up. It's still on YouTube, and it is a video of children talking about how their parents change their behaviour when they put on their competition gear. And they're essentially saying things like, you start to shout at me, you need to remember that it's my game, not yours. “My Magic Sports Kit” makes your behaviour change.

It gives me shivers. It's horrible to watch because I know it's true. But, what makes me really cross as a Sports Psychology researcher who specializes in Sport Parent Education is that there isn't one single piece of advice in that YouTube video.

They don't say: try saying this instead, try doing this on competition day. We understand that you are really, really anxious and stressed, and that will change your behaviour. There's no help or advice. All this does is criticize parents. I want that to change. I would like there to be a lot more practical, carefully put together support for sport parents when they start out so that they start out on the right foot.

I really believe that, that that would make a huge difference. And also I think that if everybody knows their lane, then those, that 15% of parents who are perhaps behaving in, in a very negative way, they will start to stand out even more because everybody is, is pulling together. When I deliver workshops to like a whole club, one coach said to me, the whole atmosphere of the club changed because all the parents were pulling together because they know what their role is and they know their lane and they know what they're doing.

And it just really, really helps and it will help to filter out to really negative behaviour. Let's stop criticizing parents and actually giving them practical tips.

Manisha: Mind you, there is sometimes a, a fear for parents to address other parents who are acting in a certain way. It's kind of touchy there, I would say.

What is your vision for the "SUPER-P" program moving forward?

Jennifer: I believe in it so much. I want "SUPER-P", the acronym, up on every clubhouse. I want it to be delivered to every parent when they start out in competitive sport. It it to be something that people keep in the backs of their minds when they're going to competition day. You know, I want it to become part of the language of youth sport.

I have two daughters, so obviously my eldest is a gymnast, and my youngest has just discovered a love of climbing and she's on the climbing squad. And I just think that sport teaches children. It teaches children to fail. It teaches them to succeed. It teaches them to step outside their comfort zone. I look at my, my eldest. Every college application that she writes now, every job interview, you know, she can draw on the experiences that she's had from her sport. I love that. I think it's incredible. I just think it's wonderful.

For Archery, concentration levels must be amazing. And the, the physical ability that they must have to, you know, hold themselves still. And it's just wonderful, just wonderful legacies that sport gives children.

I don't know what the stats are for the UK or for Canada, but the dropout rates in America for children, I think it's age 12 to 13, it's like 70 or 80% of children are dropping out of sport. And, I think it's because they're being pushed probably too hard by both their coaches and their parents. My vision is let's really, let's educate parents. Let's get youth sport kind of back on track. And I really think that that starts with parent education.

Manisha: How can anyone listening to this or watching us, how can they get involved in the "SUPER-P" Approach?

Jennifer: Yes. So our website is RaisingHappyChamps.com You can book onto a workshop as a single person. I run them over Zoom. I try and do them at different times of the day. Obviously I'm in the UK, but I try and do them at different times to accommodate different time zones.

But what I'm really trying to push at the moment is, as I mentioned to you, to try and get whole clubs involved because that's when the magic really happens. When everybody is pulling from the same hymn sheet, it really makes a difference.

So coaches who are watching, if you go to the Clubs page, there's a form that you can fill out to get in touch, and then we can put together a workshop that's specifically for your club. We can do it for, for all numbers.

We are really, really trying to be as open as we possibly can in terms of numbers and who will get on board. And equally the other thing that we're offering is parents who are watching, if you'd like to refer your club, we have like a Referral button that's that's on the website. And so you can let us know your club and then we can get in touch with the coach and see if we can arrange a club workshop.

So sort of three options there to get in touch. If you've still got questions, you can sign up to our EShot. We send out an EShot, sort of try and do one once a week. And I try and share tips and Nat, my business partner, she shares tips from the coaching or the athlete perspective, and just to open up communication about sport parenting and how tough it is.

And of course, you can follow us on social media. We're on Instagram and Facebook RaisingHappyChamps.

Manisha: Great. Any final thoughts that you would like to share with everyone?

Jennifer: The message that I really want to get across is that, you know, the joy of sport parenting and how wonderful it can be, but equally how tough it is. I sometimes from time to time do one-to-one "SUPER-P" workshops. And when I've done that with a parent on their own, I've never had a mom who didn't cry. I really want to acknowledge how tough it is. And I know how hard it is. And your friends sitting in the stands will also acknowledge how tough it is. And having listened to this podcast, go and share it with people and then have a chat about it, you know, what has been your biggest challenge? What's your biggest challenge on competition day?

Try and open up the communication about how tough it is to be a sport parent. Talk to your athlete as well, because I talk to Lily all the time about it and she knows that I'm going to say things wrong and that's okay because we're all human and we do say the wrong thing from time to time.

I really want to open up the lines of communication about sport parenting, and of course, Manisha. That's why your podcast is so incredible. Hats off to you because what you do is just absolutely brilliant. I've been in touch with a few parents who are doing similar things to you across different sports, and it's so admirable because it must take you so much time for what you're doing, but it is so valuable. Hats off to you for doing this and, and, and thank you. Because I do think it's valuable and I think it's wonderful.

Manisha: You're so very kind. I appreciate that. There's a bigger goal, there's a bigger message, there's a bigger objective, but it all comes back to the love of sport. And I guess that's my little way of giving back. I wanted to just bring up something you just said. It would be amazing for parents to talk about at some point your athlete is going to experience a profound devastation in their sport.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Manisha: And dealing with that moment is so incredibly hard. We went through that once. As your athlete becomes more involved in the high performance levels of sport, representing their countries all over the world for World Games, Continental Games, Olympics, World Championships, we all know that there are more people that do not achieve that goal than do achieve that goal.

And there are events that our athletes, they are so focused on, and it's not just these events that are every single year, because maybe they'll have a chance maybe next year to qualify for that. But there are events that only come around every two, every four years, that when that goal doesn't get met, the profound effect that it can have on your athlete. There are only two directions. They quit or they keep going.

And it would be so amazing to have a dialogue around how to parent specifically in that moment because when we experienced it, I had no idea how to help and my heart was breaking. I felt, you said the word helpless, not just that. My heart was breaking because I could see the pain that my athlete was in, and if there was one way to give a tip or to help that parent out, that would only make the relationship that they have with their athlete so much stronger so that they can move together forward. Because so many athletes have to go through it by themselves. And that's so, so sad. I could see how the "SUPER-P" Approach would help so many people if they're willing to be self-aware.

And I want to thank you for doing the research and rising above all of those others and addressing the other research and, and finding where the gaps are and filling those gaps, so that athletes and parents and coaches can all move together. And so sport can be better for everyone. So thank you too for, for everything.

Jennifer: Oh my pleasure.

Manisha: I usually finish the every episode with a joke and a very, very bad joke. I will not subject you to that. What I've been changing for this new series of episodes that I've been doing is what is your or your athlete's best travel tip? You've said that your athlete has traveled internationally quite extensively.

What is one travel tip that you could share with our audience?

Jennifer: Okay. My daughter, because she often travels to Eastern European countries, and she'll go to really, really random places, and obviously, because she's been doing this since she was nine, one of my biggest challenges was making sure that she had good food while she was away. She often didn't like the breakfasts, didn't like what food was sold in the venue.

One time, she was only nine and she got food poisoning while she was away. So poor darling was sick without me, and that was really tough. And so what I send her away with are, and I, I assume that you have them in Canada, are pot noodles. Do you know pot noodles? You can make them from a, a hotel kettle.

She also takes a Thermos with a fork. So when she goes to the venue, she can make up a pot noodle, which she takes into the venue with her and I'll always send her with enough pot noodles to have a lunch every single day. Sometimes the food's really, really great and then she doesn't need them.

And other times, the food is horrible and she does need them. I also send her, in the UK we get little pots of protein porridge, as well. So if she doesn't like the breakfasts, again, she can make that. So you don't need any, anything other than a kettle to make it.

Just really, really want to make sure that she's well fuelled for her competitions and that she's, you know, eating well. She's a lot older now and she doesn't mind, you know, eating different foods and stuff like that.

But I think that that's probably the biggest things that we did when she was traveling, when she was younger. And that way I always knew that she'd have a good lunch when she was out competing. I realize it's not the healthiest thing to eat, but, on those occasions, it's far more important to get good food or food into them rather than nothing.

Manisha: That's so important. We have definitely sent food with, with our Archer, and sometimes you have to do that because you want to make sure that they are getting calories of some sort, and sometimes it's just something you need to do.

Jennifer: Just sending bars and protein bars and that sort of thing, but I realized that after a while she, she doesn't want like snack food. She actually wanted actual food. So that's why the, the pot noodle and the thermos flask came into, came into being.

Manisha: Thank you so much Dr. Jennifer Harris of Raising Happy Champs.

Jennifer: My pleasure.

Manisha: I'm so happy that you were able to take the time to join me today. Can you just share again your website?

Jennifer: Of course, yes. So it's RaisingHappyChamps.com and you can email me at jennifer@raisinghappychamps.com. Or, of course, get in touch via social media.

Manisha: Great, and be sure to follow us on Instagram:

Archery Parent Podcast. Thank you so much. We will talk to you again next time.

Thanks for listening to this episode of The Archery Parent Podcast. This show is for Archery parents by an Archery parent. You can find more episodes at archeryparentpodcast.ca. While there, sign up for our newsletter and check out our blog. Share this episode with at least one other Archery parent.

The Archery Parent Podcast is hosted and produced by me, Manisha. Reece Wilson-Poyton and Elissa Foley are our resident Archery consultants and contributors. Fact checking by Manisha, Reece and Elissa. Our theme music is The Stranger by Wooden Flowers, Michal Menart, and Giant Metal Crickets.

Follow us on social media and YouTube for additional tips, how to's and what you need to know to best support your Archer. I'm Manisha of the Archery Parent Podcast. We're doing this one arrow at a time.