Struggle Street: When to Step In and When to Step Back as an Archery Parent

Supporting Your Archer Through Setbacks & Helping Your Archer Navigate the Tough Times

What happens when Archery stops being fun? What do you do when your Archer struggles at a tournament, hits a performance plateau, or begins questioning whether all that practice is worth it?

How do you support your Archer through setbacks without stepping in to fix everything?

As parents, we want our Archers to enjoy their sport, feel confident in their abilities, and achieve their goals. So, when progress stalls or a competition ends in disappointment, our instinct is often to offer advice, try to solve the problem, or look for ways to prevent our Archer from experiencing disappointment again.

But what if some of the most valuable lessons come from working through those difficult moments?

In this episode of the Archery Parent Podcast, Manisha and Jarryd Greitschus, Founder and Director of Rogue Archery in Brisbane, Australia, explore the Happiness Paradox and what Jarryd calls Struggle Street.

We discuss how parents can support their Archer without becoming another coach, encourage independence, and keep the focus on long-term development, not just scores, rankings, or medals.

Our intentions are good. We want to help. But according to Jarryd, sometimes the most valuable thing we can do is resist the urge.

As a coach of a High-Performance Development Squad, as well as beginners to the sport, Jarryd shares his perspective on the challenges young Archers face, the role parents play in their development, and why learning to navigate difficult experiences is an important part of the journey.

Two concepts stand out in this conversation: the Happiness Paradox and Struggle Street. Both offer parents a different way to think about setbacks, progress, and what it means to support an Archer over the long term.

The Happiness Paradox: When Helping Can Get in the Way

As parents, we naturally want our children to be happy. Seeing them frustrated, disappointed, or discouraged can be difficult, particularly when we know how much effort they have put into something.

It is tempting to remove the obstacle, offer an immediate solution, or find a way to make the uncomfortable feeling go away.

Jarryd challenges parents to consider what can happen when the pursuit of happiness becomes the priority in every situation.

If we continually step in to prevent our children from struggling, we may unintentionally limit their opportunities to learn how to handle challenges for themselves.

In Archery, those challenges are unavoidable.

An Archer might shoot a disappointing score, lose a close match, struggle with a technical change, or find that a technique that once worked no longer produces the same results. Not every competition will go according to plan, and not every training session will feel productive.

These experiences can be uncomfortable, but they can also provide opportunities to develop problem-solving skills, patience, self-awareness, and confidence.

The goal is not to leave young Archers to figure everything out alone. It is to recognize the difference between offering support and taking over.

Sometimes, the most helpful response is to listen, acknowledge the frustration, and give your Archer the space to decide what to do next.

Ask yourself: Am I helping my Archer learn how to work through this situation, or am I trying to make the uncomfortable feeling disappear as quickly as possible?

That distinction can change how we respond to the difficult moments in our Archer’s sporting life.

Welcome to Struggle Street

Every Archer experiences periods when progress seems to come easily and other times when improvement becomes much harder to see.

Early in the learning process, a new skill may produce quickly noticeable gains. Scores improve, technique becomes more consistent, and each training session seems to bring another breakthrough.

Then things slow down.

The scores stop climbing. A familiar technique begins to feel awkward. An Archer may practise regularly without seeing the results they expected.

Welcome to what Jarryd calls “Struggle Street”.

Struggle Street is the point at which an Archer discovers that continued progress may require something different from what worked before.

Perhaps they need to refine their technique, develop a new skill, improve their training structure, learn more about their equipment, or reconsider their approach to competition. They may need help from their coach to identify what is happening and determine the next steps.

For parents, watching this process can be frustrating. We might wonder whether the coach is still the right fit, whether our Archer is practising enough, or whether a change is needed.

Sometimes change is appropriate. But a performance plateau does not automatically mean something is wrong.

Before jumping to conclusions, consider having a constructive conversation with your Archer and, where appropriate, their coach.

Ask what they are working on. Find out what the coach has identified as the next area for development. Give the Archer time to work through the process.

Improvement is not always a straight line. Learning a new skill or making a technical adjustment can temporarily make performance feel less comfortable before things begin to come together.

The important question is not simply, "Why aren't the scores improving?"

It is also, "What are we learning, and what is the next step?"

Your Role Is to Be the Parent, Not the Technical Coach

One of the most important distinctions in Jarryd's discussion is the difference between being a supportive parent and becoming another coach.

Parents are often deeply involved in their Archer's journey. We pay for equipment, arrange training, travel to tournaments, watch practice, and invest considerable time and energy in helping our children pursue their goals.

That involvement can make it difficult to know when to step back.

You might notice a technical issue during a competition. You may have watched enough videos or listened to enough coaching conversations to believe you know what your Archer should change. You may even be tempted to analyze every arrow and every score.

But when parents begin providing technical instructions alongside the coach, the Archer can be left wondering whose advice to follow.

It can also make the parent-child relationship feel more like another coaching relationship, particularly when every conversation after practice turns into a review of performance.

Jarryd encourages parents to recognize the value of letting the coach handle technical instruction while the parent focuses on providing support.

That does not mean you cannot watch practice, take an interest in competitions, or ask questions. It means being thoughtful about how you participate and whether your involvement helps your Archer or adds another layer of pressure.

Your Archer needs a parent who can listen when things go badly, celebrate meaningful progress, and offer encouragement without making every result a judgment of their ability.

Sometimes, simply being present is enough.

The Parent-Archer-Athlete Agreement

Jarryd also discusses the value of a Parent-Archer-Athlete Agreement, a way to clarify the roles, responsibilities, and expectations of the people involved in an Archer's development.

Conversations about these expectations can help families and coaches establish a shared understanding of who is responsible for what.

For example:

• What decisions belong to the Archer?
• What responsibilities belong to the coach?
• How can parents offer support without taking over?
• How should concerns about training or performance be communicated?
• What happens when the Archer, parent, and coach see a situation differently?

These conversations are often easier to have before a problem arises.

When everyone understands their role, the Archer has a clearer environment in which to learn, make decisions, and take increasing ownership of their development.

See the Agreement Jarryd uses with his Archers and their parents here.

See the Archery Parent Podcast Agreement here.

The Car Ride Home: Three Questions That Encourage Reflection

The journey home after a tournament can be one of the most challenging moments in Archery parenting.

Your Archer may be delighted with their performance, disappointed by their score, frustrated by a mistake, or simply exhausted after a long day.

Parents may have their own reactions, particularly when they have invested significant time, money, and effort into the competition.

It is easy to start analyzing the results before your Archer has had a chance to decompress.

Jarryd discusses three questions that can help an Archer reflect on their experience:

1. What did you do well?
2. What could you improve?
3. What are you going to do about it?

These questions encourage Archers to recognize what worked, identify an area for development, and consider a practical next step.

Notice that the questions are not simply about the final score or where the Archer finished in the rankings. They focus on the Archer's own observations and decisions.

The timing matters, too.

Immediately after a difficult competition, your Archer may not be ready to have a detailed conversation. They might need food, rest, quiet, or time to process what happened.

You do not have to ask all three questions on the drive home. Sometimes, the best opening is simply, "How are you feeling about today?"

Let your Archer guide the conversation. If they want to talk, listen. If they need time, give them that time.

Reflection is most useful when it helps your Archer understand their experience and identify what they want to do next. It’s not when it feels like an test they must pass on the way home.

Beyond Medals and Rankings

Competitive Archery naturally involves scores, rankings, personal bests, qualification standards, and podium finishes. These results can be exciting and meaningful.

But they are only one part of an Archer's development.

If young athletes come to believe that their worth is determined by their results, a disappointing performance can feel like much more than a disappointing performance. It can begin to shape how they see themselves.

Parents can help by recognizing the effort, preparation, dedication, and decision-making that go into their Archer's journey. Not just making it all about the final outcome.

That might mean acknowledging how consistently your Archer has trained, how they handled a difficult situation, how they supported another competitor, or how they responded when something did not go according to plan.

It also means being careful about how we talk about future ambitions.

Dreaming of competing at national or international level can be exciting. But an Archer's identity should not depend on reaching a particular level of competition.

Young people change. Their interests evolve, their goals shift, and their lives develop in ways they cannot always predict.

Supporting an Archer means taking their current ambitions seriously without making an outcome the measure of their entire future.

There is value in helping young Archers discover what they enjoy about the sport, what motivates them, and what they want their participation to look like over time.

Outcome, Process, or Experience Goals?

Goal setting can help Archers give their training direction, but not all goals serve the same purpose.

Jarryd's discussion highlights three useful types of goals: Outcome, Process, and Experience.

Outcome Goals

Outcome goals focus on the result.

Examples include winning a medal, finishing in the top ten, qualifying for a championship, or achieving a particular ranking.

These goals can provide motivation, but they are not always entirely within an Archer's control. Competition results depend on many factors, including the performance of other athletes and the conditions on the day.

Process Goals

Process goals focus on the actions an Archer can work on directly.

Examples include following a consistent shot routine, maintaining attention on the process, using a breathing strategy, or practising a planned reset after a difficult arrow.

These goals give Archers something specific to focus on, regardless of the final score.

Experience Goals

Experience goals focus on what an Archer wants to learn, explore, or experience.

An Archer might want to learn how wind affects their arrows, meet other Archers, become more independent when setting up equipment, or gain experience at a new type of competition.

These goals can be especially valuable because they help broaden the purpose of participation beyond winning.

All three types of goals can have a place in an Archer's development. The key is to make sure that outcome goals do not overshadow the actions, learning, and experiences that help the Archer move forward.

Parents can support this process by asking what their Archer wants to work on rather than deciding all the goals for them.

Why Team Training Matters in an Individual Sport

Archery may look like an individual sport, but the people around an Archer can have a significant influence on their experience.

Training alongside others provides opportunities to build friendships, learn from different experiences, share challenges, and become part of a community.

A positive training environment can also make practice more enjoyable and give young Archers a sense of belonging beyond their individual scores.

Not every training session needs to be about chasing a personal best. Developing relationships, learning from teammates, and enjoying time at the range are meaningful parts of the sporting experience.

For parents, this is a useful reminder to look beyond the rankings when considering whether an Archer is benefiting from their sport.

Ask yourself: Does my Archer enjoy the people they train with? Do they feel supported by their club? Are they developing friendships and finding reasons to look forward to practice?

Those aspects of the experience matter, too.

Should Your Archer Specialize in One Sport?

Another important topic Jarryd and Manisha discussed is early sports specialization and the benefits of allowing young people to explore different activities.

It can be tempting to focus exclusively on Archery when a child shows talent or becomes serious about competition. More training may seem like the obvious route to improvement.

But different sports and physical activities can offer different learning opportunities.

Gymnastics, swimming, martial arts, dance, and other activities can help young people develop coordination, balance, mobility, body awareness, and a wider range of movement skills.

Trying different activities can also help children discover what they enjoy and learn about themselves outside a single sporting environment.

Jarryd encourages a broad approach to development, particularly for younger athletes. He discusses exploring different sports in childhood, allowing interests to develop through the teenage years, and considering greater specialization as an Archer matures.

These age ranges should not be treated as rigid rules. Young people develop at different rates, and their circumstances, interests, and goals vary.

The broader message is to avoid assuming that an early commitment to one sport must automatically mean abandoning everything else.

A varied sporting experience can contribute to an Archer's overall development and help keep participation enjoyable.

When Is It Time to Move Up in Distance or Poundage?

As Archers develop, they may want to move to a longer shooting distance, increase their bow's draw weight, or progress into a different competitive category.

These milestones can be exciting, but moving up is not simply a matter of proving that an Archer is ready for the next challenge.

Physical readiness, technical foundations, consistency, and longer-term development goals all deserve consideration.

Increasing draw weight before an Archer is physically prepared, for example, can make it harder to maintain sound technique. Moving to a longer distance may introduce new challenges that require time and adjustment.

Rather than rushing towards the next milestone, work with the coach to consider whether the Archer is ready and what the change will mean for their training.

The objective is not to move up as quickly as possible. It is to make decisions that support the Archer's continued development.

Parents can help by avoiding comparisons with other Archers and allowing progress to happen at an appropriate pace.

Building Athletes for Life, Not Just the Podium

One of the broader messages in Jarryd's conversation is that sport can offer much more than competitive results.

Archery can provide opportunities to develop patience, concentration, self-awareness, decision-making, perseverance, and the ability to work towards a goal over time.

It can teach young people to prepare, reflect, adjust their approach, communicate with others, and take responsibility for their own choices.

These skills can be useful well beyond the shooting line.

But they are not developed by focusing exclusively on performance. They emerge through the entire experience: training, competing, making mistakes, building relationships, working with a coach, and learning to navigate the inevitable ups and downs.

Parents have an important role in shaping that experience.

We can encourage our Archers to take their goals seriously while reminding them that one score does not define them. We can help them find solutions without solving every problem on their behalf. We can celebrate achievement while recognizing effort, learning, sportsmanship, and enjoyment.

And we can give them room to decide what they want their Archery journey to become.

Ultimately, the goal is not simply to raise a successful competitor. It is to support a young person who can make decisions, work through challenges, build confidence in their abilities, and discover what they want from the sport. But, it’s also about them developing into a person who understands who they are.

Final Thoughts: Support the Archer, Not Just the Score

The next time your Archer struggles, consider pausing before jumping in with advice or a solution.

Ask what they need. Listen to what they have to say. Give them an opportunity to think through the situation and, when appropriate, work with their coach to identify the next step.

Remember that your role is different from the coach's role. Your Archer needs technical guidance, but they also need a parent who can offer perspective, encouragement, and support without making every difficult experience about performance.

Struggle Street is not necessarily a sign that something has gone wrong. Sometimes, it is part of learning what the next stage of development requires.

As Jarryd reminds us through his discussion of the Happiness Paradox, supporting young athletes does not mean removing every obstacle. It means helping them develop the skills and confidence to navigate their own journey.

Still Have Questions About Supporting Your Archer?

Every Archer's journey is different, and knowing when to encourage, when to listen, and when to step back isn't always straightforward.

We've created a companion guide, Archery Parenting: 17 Questions About Supporting Your Archer Through Setbacks, answering common questions about competition, coaching, performance plateaus, goal setting, and helping your Archer develop independence.

If Jarryd Greitschus's discussion of Struggle Street has you thinking about your own approach to Archery parenting, this practical FAQ is a great place to continue.

CONNECT WITH JARRYD

Rogue Archery : The Home of Rogue Archery

Rogue Archery Masterclass: Jarryd's Membership site and online Archery coaching curriculum.

Email: info@roguearchery.com.au

Listen to the Episode

Listen to the Archery Parent Podcast episode featuring Jarryd Greitschus to hear more about the Happiness Paradox, Struggle Street, parent-coach boundaries, and the long-term development of young Archers.

Keep Learning: Related Episodes and Articles

If you found this conversation helpful, explore these related discussions from the Archery Parent Podcast:

• The Long Game: Why 4x Olympian Crispin Dueñas Believes in “Leaving Them Alone” : Explore athlete independence, early specialization, and allowing young Archers to develop at their own pace.
• Dr. Jennifer Harris: “SUPER-P” — The Science-backed Solution for Sport Parents :  Learn more about Parent-Coach-Athlete relationships, communication, and supporting young athletes.
• Jody Wacowich: Quivering Questions, Conversations & the Drive Home :  Consider how post-competition conversations can support reflection and constructive communication.
• Joe Leszner: Acknowledgement, Acceptance & Authenticity : Explore emotions, expectations, and the relationship between performance and personal identity.
• Blueprinting the Shot: A Parent’s Guide with Joel Turner : Discover more about the mental side of Archery and how parents can support their Archer through performance challenges.

Visit the Archery Parent Podcast blog for more conversations and resources to help you support your Archer on the shooting line and beyond.

Key topics: Archery parenting, youth athlete development, confidence, independence, performance plateaus, Archer development, Parents looking for practical guidance on supporting their Archer through challenges and setbacks.